I Believe

I believe in the power of music. I believe in its power to heal. In eighth grade, I remember when I first became so infatuated with music. I saw some 60’s music playlist on youtube and my first thought was “well I like the Beatles” I listened to it and was drawn into all of these new amazing artists I had never heard of. The doors, the who, Pink Floyd and so many others. I carried this musical obsession into highschool. The genres may have changed but the intensity of my enjoyment never did. I still can’t remember the first time I had depression. I remember coming home late at night in the fall of sophomore year and not being able to get out of bed. Nothing was exciting anymore and even music stopped working for a period of time. Even as I say these words I can feel the pain that I felt at that moment. I can remember the concerned looks on my parents' faces, but they didn’t know what to do. It was around this time that I found a band named Radiohead. While they are obviously known most for their song Creep. I was instantly drawn into how experimental they were with their later releases. As I laid in my bed I remember feeling the worst I had ever felt. I put on their music and instantly felt better. I was still new to their music but that didn’t stop me from singing along to lyrics I didn’t know. It didn’t matter if I didn’t know what Thom Yorke was saying, It was how he sang it, It was more about the feeling than the substance. Thom Yorke was once asked in an interview about the influence of drugs in their music. To which Yorke responded with We don’t need drugs to make good music Depression is a hard enough drug as it is. And while I look back on those times I have nothing to say but that I agree. I slowly got better during the winter break of the year and the band stayed with me throughout all this time. I was bad again towards the end of that year but I had my obsession with music to help me through these events. I listen to new music almost every day and I can still feel the joy I felt when I put my first song up on the internet and the pride I felt when people told me how good it was. I slowly got better and to be honest, Music was probably the main reason I got through the things I got through. The music I listen to and all the times I make music are the most peaceful times in my life. Music has been the most consistent and powerful tool I've had to get through hardships. The hardest time in my life and music was there, with comfort, happiness, and healing.